Atheist dating a jewish girl
So make your choice in joy and in confidence, whatever it is—don't make it in fear. I'm praying for you! I know the feeling. I actually broke up with my fiancee because of that once — I'm a die-hard Christian loosely Seventh-Day Adventist , and he's an agnostic. At the time, though, he was going through a bit of a more militant atheist phase, and I while I believe everyone is on their own journey and can live with that, I can't handle people actively bashing my dearly-held beliefs, pretending like my experiences aren't real, or not defending me sufficiently when I'm under verbal attack over my beliefs.
So I broke it off with him. The flip side of this is that especially in our world, nothing is guaranteed. So, I guess marrying another Christian in that situation didn't really matter much to some extent… you never know when a person will change their mind. So why try to plan for that? So basically, I think if he's a good match for you, is willing to be respectful of your beliefs, and you agree on a lot of moral issues something that's important regardless of religion , and if you can handle not being on the same page sometimes, then go for it.
That said, if you think his lack of belief will drag you back in your own faith in any way… then I'd give it another look before continuing with the wedding.
Atheist dating a jewish girl
I've also dealt with a certain amount of un-welcome-ness being an atheist marrying a Jewish man. I'm sure the children will face a certain amount of intra-Jewish prejudice a reality I was totally unaware of prior to exploring this whole 'intermarriage' thing. I was ranting about how maybe more people would want to be active in the Jewish community if the Jewish community were more welcoming to the non-Jewish partner; especially us atheists!
I don't even have a religious belief to be "inter"-whatevered with! The only religion the kids will get will get will be Jewish! We're tentatively approaching the one Reconstructionist group in town, but the looks I got were all sorts of unsettling. Does not help that I'm your standard-issue tall, blonde Scandinavian type. I get it; it's just unsettling for me. I'm totally willing to be all the supportive there is, and then finding the essays written by rabbis who feel that it's worse for Mr.
Star to be marrying me to be the most terrible thing out there…. I'd consider converting if I could convert straight from Gentile atheism to Jewish atheism. Is that a thing? That should be a thing. Anyway, I'm glad there's other people who're in the same boat; empathy's always nicer than sympathy. I'm Jewish and will my marrying an atheist. Judaism will be the only religion in the household, but we still face discrimination. This is the first time in Jewish history that Jews have married non-Jews in such high numbers, and everyone is extremely suspicious, even scared. And even more determined to be totally supportive of all as he puts it the nagilas he possibly could hava.
Definitely see if you have a community affiliated with Secular Humanistic Judaism in your area — they welcome and celebrate people living a secular lifestyle who are connected to Jewish culture and peoplehood. In other words, families and couples just like what you've described!
Contact information available at http: Where are you located, if you don't mind my asking? Because I'll be ordained Reconstructionist in a few years and I'm honestly shocked that you've been receiving a less than gracious welcome not that I'm doubting your story at all. Our movement has been fully open to interfaith families for decades now and I think I've maybe met one or two Reconstructionist rabbis in my life who refuse to perform intermarriages. In fact, many of us younger seminarians are the products of interfaith marriages ourselves.
All I can hope is that as this younger crop of seminarians graduate, experiences like yours become less and less common. Posts like this strike home with me, because I'm currently in an interfaith relationship. We're very serious about each other having dated for many years, but I'm Christian and he's…not.
He doesn't really have any religious beliefs, having not grown up in a spiritual or religious family and for the most part it's never an issue. But as we become more serious about our relationship and the potential for marriage I find myself wondering what I'm doing. Like the author this was never the plan. It's such a departure, and I love reading about the intermarriages, because it's just a strange road for me.
This article sort of encompasses some of my feelings of change and shift in my viewpoints about marriage and religion. I know what you're going through. As fate would have it, I'm madly in love with an unofficial atheist He's told very few people about his true feelings on religion because his family is highly religious.
I'm glad there's so many other people that are going through similar things. If you love each other, that's all that matters. The rest will work itself out in the end. This is a lovely sentiment, but I'd really recommend having a talk about child-rearing before you make a commitment to someone without faith or of a different faith. I think people tend to assume that children should be raised with some kind of organized religion, whatever the parents' personal beliefs, or that the mother will make all the decisions regarding the children's spiritual education, but your partner may not be OK with either of those.http://edutoursport.com/libraries/2020-05-01/1662.php
I'm Jewish, he's an atheist: Intermarriage, and what I have to leave behind | Offbeat Bride
It's easy to ignore your partner's faith or lack thereof as long as it doesn't really have any repercussions, but I think before you have kids, you and your partner really need to think about how important these things are to you. I'm a culturally Christian atheist who's dated guys of a variety of religious backgrounds — Evangelical, Catholic, Jewish, Hindu. I have no problem with the idea of raising my kids with a different culture as long as some of mine is passed along too! That has been a surprise to more than one guy I've dated, as they assume kids have to be raised with some kind of religion, so it's definitely something I'd discuss before getting serious with anyone.
Sister, it sure is a journey! I wish that I could give any advice, other than 'pray hard. Many in my family and faith community were so cautionary at first—but as they got to know my honeybee, many of them came to the same conclusion as me: People who love you honestly will be able to look beyond the 'love is blind' state to tell you if your relationship is pointing you towards or away from God's love. It was at times a hard decision, and came with lots of tearful prayer and subsequent spiritual growth! I feel confident I made the right choice in my circumstance, but I would never say that my decision would be right for others without knowing them well.
God bless you, sister! Thank you for this powerful and poignant essay.
The Jewish fear of intermarriage
There are some Reform rabbis who no longer make demands about how the children will be raised—they realize it is not really possible to extract such a promise, given that people change over time in terms of their beliefs and practices. Also, there are interfaith communities especially in New York, Chicago, and Washington formed on the idea of complete acceptance of interfaith families, equal respect for both partners, and interfaith education for children.
You might want to check out my blog onbeingboth. To the original poster, I want to let you know that you're not alone. Your reasoning and thoughts are nearly identical to where I was a year ago. I too was a dayschool girl, raised Conservative, in one of the few non-egal Conservative synagogues left.
Active in USY, performed in Fiddler twice then helped out with sound on a third performance , even had an uncle disowned by a grandparent for marrying a Buddhist, and definitely was not supposed to marry a Protestant-raised atheist. My now-husband took a conversion class and decided that he couldn't ethically convert to something he didn't believe in, and I respect him enough to respect that decision.
I definitely wanted to be married by a Rabbi, and didn't want to be married by a rent-a-clergyman who I had no personal connection with. We were lucky, the Rabbi of the Hillel I attended for 4 years of undergrad and 2 years of grad school agreed to perform the ceremony, and also counseled us before the wedding.
It was a fairly traditional ceremony, she made sure to translate everything to English and explain it for the non-Jewish guests, and it worked out really well overall. I've been pleased and humbled by the level of acceptance I've met across the spectrum of Jewish observance. My Orthodox best-friend-since-Kindergarten declined to be a bridesmaid due to the intermarriage, but still attended the wedding and even did my hair.
She was the an excellent officially unofficial bridesmaid. Her mother also attended, and between them they helped make the wedding a truly joyful occasion. Since the wedding, the rabbi at my Conservative shul has invited us over to his house for dinner multiple times, and everyone is happy to see my husband at the non-religious social events he comes to.
I hope you have similar good luck with finding an officiant, and I'd be happy to lend a sympathetic ear if you want one. Many couples with one atheist partner and one Jewish partner find it difficult to select a rabbi, community, etc. One option that works for many couples is a cultural Jewish community. There are many of these around the country, and they allow couples to celebrate Jewish heritage without compromising the non-theist partner's principles. Many of these communities are affiliated with the Society for Humanistic Judaism www. Just an fyi, I married a non Jew.
Neither of us thought religion was worth bothering about.
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Not only for my kids, which was huge, but also for myself. I was cheated of so much by my youthful hubris. I now realize what a 'blessing' it is to be part of a Jewish community and I threw that away for most of my life. Jews really do care about others, to the point of sending in their own children to defend their tiny state from aggressors, in order not to kill enemy civilians of a people whose entire rationale for name and existence is to destroy them.
Check the facts, so few people really do. Sure, it may be a human weakness to want to belong to any tribe, let alone one full of great and mostly humble people, but last time I checked, yup, human. Just a thought, but this is pretty similar talking to a bride to be about divorce rates or could be compared to such.
Perhaps sound advice but a poor place to put it. Just my 2 cents. Kat, didn't even realize this was a bridal forum. You're right about that then!
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- I'm Jewish, he's an atheist: Intermarriage, and what I have to leave behind!
- When believers marry atheists - BBC News.
I wish there were a way for people to talk to their younger selves from the future, how different our decisions might be, how many fewer regrets. Hopefully everything will work out for the best for them. I really did think it was the stupidest thing to consider religion when I married.